How to tell if you married the right person

  1. What are the signs that you married the right person? Please include a list of as many signs as possible
    1. You are able to work through power struggle issues
    2. You’re attraction to your partner remains high
    3. You take time for each other.
    4. The relationship comes before work, kids, relatives etc.
    5. You have a vision for the relationship and you keep it updated
    6. You work through problems
    7. You are happy when you are with each other
    8. You speak well of each other to other people
    9. You support each other’s dreams
    10. You are best friends
    11. You trust each other
    12. You act like a team
    13. You focus on what’s right about your mate and vice versa
  2. What are the signs that maybe you didn’t marry your match?
    1. Withheld communication
    2. Unwillingness to talk things over
    3. Not willing to get help
    4. No vision or plan for the relationship
    5. Hostility,
    6. Can’t/don’t want to work through problems
    7. Mistrust
    8. “What about me?” thinking
    9. Talk badly about each other to people
    10. You focus on what’s wrong with him or the relationship
  3. Do people “just know” that they married the right person or does it require work?
    1. It always requires work.
    2. You have to create it every day.
  4. If it requires work, what are some of the ways make marriage work?
    1. Have a vision for the relationship.
    2. Update the vision regularly, like on anniversaries.
    3. Use rituals
    4. Take quality time for each other
    5. Date night
    6. Keep your sex life alive. Make it a priority.
    7. Touch each other frequently
    8. Talk through problems
    9. Go to couples counseling to work through issues you can’t yourselves
    10. Go to personal counseling to handle personal baggage
    11. Keep learning about how to make your sex and relationship life better.
  5. Can you turn the “wrong” person into the “right” person?
    1. NO. You and your partner must meet each other requirements. Those are the deal breakers that you must have if your relationship is going to work for you. Ideally, you would do this before you got married to ensure your relationship has the right foundation. Examples are: chemistry, having similar political or spiritual beliefs, wanting kids or not, doesn’t do drugs, has a sense of humor, financially responsible etc. Everyone has their own list. For example, some people care greatly about how much $ the person earns, if they agree politically etc. others don’t. (I strongly recommend including on all lists that your partner is sane, kind and can work through problems.) If you and your partner don’t fulfill each other’s requirements, and don’t want to, it’s time to move on.
    2. If you do fulfill each other’s requirements but there’s baggage and misunderstandings, you can both grow and become better people and partners. How?
    3. Both people have to be willing.
    4. Outside help will be needed
    5. Love can grow when it’s nurtured.