Keeping it Hot and Spicy in the Relationship

  1. One of the keys to hot and spicy sex is having a good functioning relationship. It doesn’t mean you have to do exotic things it means you have to have the basics in place. Which starts with being connected and taking care of each other. Taking each other for granted will lead to ordinary sex. Not bad but lacking spicy heat. We’re both in our 70s and the sex we had yesterday was as hot and spicy as ever.
  2. To have a good relationship is like being good at flying an airplane. You first have to understand how the airplane works and what its features are and what its limitation are. What we mean by that is you first have to understand how your body works and then how your partners body works. That’s where knowing the effect of the hormones in our bodies come into play.
  3. If you know that you partner is behaving in a certain way because they are being driven by their hormones, then you won’t take it personally and get upset about it causing separation in the relationship. Separation in the relationship does not lead to sex and happiness.
  4. Men have to know that the state of the woman is directly related to how hot and spicy the sex will be. The road to hot spicy sex starts way before you get to the bedroom. Appreciating the way she looks and how often you touch her.
  5. As you know testosterone dominates male behavior as estrogen dominates female behavior. Oxytocin affect both men and women but women have ten times more than men.
  6. Ladies first. If she is of child bearing age and having menstrual periods her behavior is strongly affected by which hormones are being generated during each part of her cycle. After she stops bleeding she begins to generate estrogen and testosterone both peak around day 15. That is when she is in estrus or heat. She will want sex and be the hottest then. Also the most fertile. From day 15 to 22 her hormones testosterone and estrogen decrease and progesterone increases, which mellows her out. After that all hormone production stops and she is pre-menstrual. We tell our clients to mark their calendars so they know where they stand on the cycle. This is important for men as well. We have a chart in out book that breaks it down day by day.
  7. If she is not having a cycle or not near ovulation then the best way to generate the heat is to generate oxytocin, the bonding hormone. This is done by talking, touching and kissing.
  8. What we have found is that many couples have never even talked about what they want in their sex life. If you join our web site we have a free checklist of sexual beliefs. Clients have down loaded this checklist and spent hours talking about it with their mates. It’s very helpful.
  9. For a woman to be ready to have hot and spicy sex she must feel safe, relaxed and connected.
  10. We have identified 4 phase of partner sex: Pre-Play, Fore-Play, The-Play and After-Play.
  11. Pre-Play is where you deepen the connection to lead into Hot Spicy sex. We have a whole list of things you can do in this phase. For example, eye gazing, simply siting across from each other and gazing into each others eyes for 5 or 10 minutes. Synchronized breathing while eye gazing is even better. Dancing naked together is fun. Doing this kind of thin g for 15-20 minutes will set you up nicely. Then move into
  12. Fore-Play. The importance of complete foreplay is to get the woman present in her body. Once she is there then the stage is truly set for hot, spicy sex.