Seniors Sex and Aging
How does this apply to seniors? Haven’t they been there, done that?
Actually they haven’t been there. They are entering a whole new phase of their life. It’s very obvious for women when they begin peri menopause. It’s not so obvious for men as their hormones decrease gradually over time.
We all want to enjoy a satisfying sex life. However as we age and our hormone levels change our sex life takes on new dimensions some of which are not what we want and some of which can be compensated for. Here are some aspects that may help you to understand what is going on and what you can do about it.
How does this affect women?
For women a lot of her hormones come from her ovaries. When she gets to the age when nature says no more babies, her ovaries begin to shut down and so does the hormone production.
When she has too much estrogen in comparison to her other hormones she can experience tender or swelling breasts. She might feel depressed or hostile, be irritable and have baffling mood swings. Many women tend to gain weight and lose their desire for sex.
If she has too little estrogen she may experience hot flashes and night sweats. The same depression, hostility, irritability and mood swings. She may be anxious, fuzzy brained, or get migraine headaches. Osteoporosis, porous bones is often a result of menopause. She can get dry skin, vaginal dryness, itching or burning, a thinning of her vaginal walls resulting in painful intercourse if she has any sexual desire at all.
Not a lot of fun.
How does it affect men?
Men have it quite a bit easier but still go through some uncomfortable times. Andropause as it’s called comes on slowly as men lose their testosterone at a rate of 1-2 percent a year starting in their late twenties.
Men can have lower sperm counts and feel a loss of their sex drive. They might experience fewer spontaneous erections or have difficulty getting or maintaining erections. Men can lose muscle mass, gain weight, have more body fat and grow male boobs. They can also experience hot flashes and night sweats, feel fatigued a lot, feel burnt out, have less drive and trouble concentrating. Men can be depressed, anxious and nervous and irritable, the grumpy old man syndrome.
What can women do about this aging process?
Many women suffer through it, however many are doing Hormone Replacement therapy (HRT) or Bioidentical Hormone Replacement Therapy (BHRT). These therapies have proven to give a lot of relief from the difficult symptoms of peri and postmenopause. There is still a lot of controversy about the dangers of HRT and there have been some serious side effects. There have not been many studies of BHRT because it is natural the drug companies can’t patent it and won’t fund studies. BHRT does appear to be more effective without the dangerous side effects.
What can men do about this aging process?
For men it starts with eating better and getting exercise, particularly weight bearing exercise will help generate T. Losing weight, drinking moderately will help. And there is always Viagra, Cialis and Levitra.
Men should get a hormone test panel blood test to determine if they are candidates for Testosterone Replacement Therapy (TRT). This test is important because improperly prescribed TRT can be harmful. It’s important to get the right test panel to insure that all hormone levels are checked. Too often a blood test comes back and the man is told his T levels are normal, when actually they have not been tested properly. Once starting TRT a man may be stuck with it for the rest of his life. This is not a bad thing if he does indeed need TRT.
How do these ageing processes affect people in relationship?
Having a grumpy old man with an angry, irritable woman doesn’t usually lead to fun times.
As women lose estrogen and oxytocin they become less nurturing and tolerant. She is a lot less likely to put up with poor treatment much less abuse. 65% of divorces after age 50 are initiated by women.
However as men age they lose T and gain E, estrogen. They also have an increase in oxytocin receptors. All this makes them less aggressive and more understanding. If men can keep their cool and help their woman work through this difficult time there is a very good chance that the relationship that comes through will be an exciting and fulfilling experience as their days dwindle down.
Can ageing people still enjoy sex?
The testosterone that fuels the libido is gone but that doesn’t mean that sex is any less enjoyable. It’s just that the drive to do it is not as demanding. If people just take the time to do it they can enjoy it. In fact most people learn to appreciate the sensuality of lovemaking and actually enjoy it more. Many learn that it’s important to actually schedule sex, and when they do they learn to experiment with new ways of pleasing each other.
What about seniors dating?
For many the fact that they no longer look as they did in their youth makes them reluctant to get out into the dating marketplace. The fact is that everyone who is in that demographic is in the same boat. We all look older. That doesn’t mean that we don’t want to have a fulfilling relationship. There are many available senior singles who are looking for what you want. Justhave realistic expectation in the appearance department.